Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-degenerating condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the condition.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to really process that at the minute," he commented.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his present welfare, his family and making preparations for when the condition progresses.
"Possibly that's shock or possibly I handle situations in another way, and when I have the information, it's more manageable," he stated further.
Early Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the problem, a set of scans revealed nerves in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately very affected about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that everything is fine," he added.
"I don't experience sick. I don't sense sick
"My indications are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be capable of accomplishing all activities. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Illness Progression
MND can progress quickly.
According to the charity MND Association, the illness kills a third of people within a 365 days and over half within 24 months of detection, as eating and respiration become more difficult.
Treatment can only retard worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," added an emotional Moody.
"There's grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Effect
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with feeling when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We sat on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and started cleaning the drops off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody said the focus was staying in the now.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be very intensely focused on just welcoming and enjoying everything now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been truly fortunate that the primary choice I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as feasible. We don't get those periods back."
Sportsman Link
Professional sportspeople are disproportionately influenced by MND, with studies proposing the prevalence of the illness is up to sixfold elevated than in the broader public.
It is believed that by restricting the O2 obtainable and creating damage to motor neurone cells, consistent, vigorous physical activity can initiate the disease in those already predisposed.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, unwavering style to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a training equipment and started participating in collisions.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the set piece in the critical passage of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop kick.
Backing System
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a handful of other previous colleagues about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the present, just having that sort of care and acceptance that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"The sport is such a great family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your love your profession, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Achieving this for so extended a period with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will want to assist in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
